07 October 2011

Sleepless Nights

This is when tolerating our high heat and humidity during the summer months pays off with highs in the low 80s and lows in the mid 60s (freezing, according to the little people around here--weak, I tell ya).  The sweet potato vines wake from their slow slumber of growth and begin to trickle down out of the soil onto paths, as if they were more like a waterfall and less like vegetation.  Stretching their limbs, they seem to claim it as their right for surviving the summer months as well.
It's a lot easier to tolerate those summer months when you've already experienced the moderate-ness of the remaining seasons. It's that 20/20 hindsight, or something like that.  I read this quote this morning from Steve Jobs “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”  If hindsight vision and perspective were for sale, they would make someone awfully wealthy.  When Divine was a baby, I might have become distraught over the fact she spit up just after I finished changing her from head to toe, diaper to blanket.  With this boy I just laugh and enjoy his steady gaze while I give him a healthy dose of baby talk and get him cleaned up. 
oldest and youngest
That first one is more of an experiment than anything when it comes to parenting.  She undeservingly gets the brunt of our fumbles and attempts at striking a balance of control and freedom.  Too bad we can't have a practice teenager, or a practice child, so these years would be put properly in their place with perspective and hindsight.
That's where faith comes in and why we have to trust that if we put the most important things first, everything else will fall into place and the dots will eventually connect, creating an image, a life that makes sense with beauty in it's entirety.  You are able to see why certain people were put in your path when they were and why attempts at making changes didn't succeed when you tried and fought and cried.  I know that soon enough these sleepless nights due to a crying infant will be replaced with sleepless nights, waiting for teenagers to come home from dates.  It makes them easier.  At least just a little bit.

20 comments:

  1. I love the oldest and youngest photo. Very Tender!

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  2. Great photo! And good advice. Our oldest is going to his first homecoming dance tomorrow as I bounce a 7 month old on my hip. It certainly gives me a new perspective each day!

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  3. Oh, that is the best picture ever! BEAUTIFUL!!!

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  4. You are so blessed to have figured this out now while your kiddos are young. Lying awake waiting to hear that car pull in the drive is harder than walking the floor till dawn with a sleepless babe.

    And a grandparent is fortunate to have 20/20 it's the best I tell you, just the best. It makes all those sleepless nights (babe or teen) all worth it.

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  5. I love this post. I'm about to have my first, and I will be fumbling away, for sure. I often pine for the days when more generations of family members in one house meant that caring for others, at any age, was not so foreign. Perhaps this is the "practice" we search for and is missing.

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  6. Thanks for this, Katy. We have been experiencing some tough stuff and it is sometimes hard to trust that the dots will be connected and all will be well.

    -Amy
    Crafting by Candlelight

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  7. does this boy child have a name yet?

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  8. It is just so fun and neat to see a boy version of your babies. He is so handsome!

    I feel sorry for MD being the guinea pig, as well. But, they do get a ton of one on one those first few years until number two comes along. Hopefully it balances out.

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  9. Beautiful, Katy, just perfect. You have such a great way with words.

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  10. I've been feeling a bit ponderous about this too lately. My first is in first grade. For some reason this grade has changed him somewhat. He's growing up faster now that he's in all day school. He's there more than he is here {at least for his waking hours}. He is making friends that I don't know. I don't know their parents. Are they a good influence on him? - I wonder. I feel like first grade has opened up a new can of worries for me. It definitely makes those baby worries seem much smaller, and helps me relish in spending time with my little shadow still at home, Reid.

    Great post Katie. I wish you a good night's sleep...eventually. :)

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  11. katy, i quite often feel like i say a silent, Amen. after every post of yours i read. enjoy and trust in the process! xoxo

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  12. I am just trying to figure out after reading your last two insightfully beautiful posts, how on earth your brain is able to be so eloquent and wise while so fresh and deep in postpartum hormones? Seriously. I can barely string a coherent sentence together after having a baby. I guess practice makes perfect! It gives me hope that I can improve. I love these wise words.

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  13. Lovely post....I find myself fretting way too much about motherhood sometimes.

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  14. Your sweet potato vine remarks were very poetic today...
    And, the way your son is looking off to the side -- very poetic as well!

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  15. Beautifully said and beautifully shown! Maybe baby boys name should reflect how you feel :)

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  16. you are such a tease! I can't wait to find out baby boy dill's name!

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  17. I love this. I'm working on my 3rd boy as we speak, and I often get overwhelmed thinking about the enormous responsibility that comes with parenting.... Words like this remind me that a bit of faith will go a long way. Thank You!

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  18. What a beautiful "Old and Young" Photo!!

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  19. this is a really lovely post, Katy--I feel this way so often about our oldest and hope he'll forgive all the trial and error!

    ps--the photo is perfect, too. those eyes!

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