13 July 2011

Two Inches

I'm not ruling out the possibility that hormones have commandeered my life.  I did, in fact, break down hysterically in tears one day when I wasn't feeling well and Ryan brought me a bowl of wheat Chex instead of rice Chex.  Of course we can laugh about it now...months later.  I have, however, recently been feeling soft.  Not just in certain body parts, although there is plenty of that, but soft in my heart.  My heart has been very tender especially towards my children.  I have always loved them, of course that's a given, and I still have a shorter supply of patience than they do of quarrels and complaints, but I think of each of them and what the world holds for them and more importantly what they have to offer the world and I get emotional.
Will they be strong?  Will they find a man who comes even a little bit close to loving them as much as their father and I do?  Will they remember the things we have tried to teach them, not because we are there to enforce or discipline, but that we have helped instill in them an innate  desire to live good, righteous lives?  I am really not normally the worrying type.  Things usually work out, Ryan and I regularly conclude, despite all the worrying with which we hinder ourselves.  But I find myself trying to see into the future, wanting to prepare them for any little bump that will inevitably come across their path.  I see them look to me now, thinking I have the answers to all, and it makes my heart beat a little faster knowing I don't.  I want them to know that I respect them, which doesn't always show like when I find an entire bar of pomegranate chocolate eaten in the corner of my bedroom, on a bolt of fabric.  I want them to feel like they'd rather be here than anywhere else, that it is a place where they are accepted, a haven.  Recently my mom sent out her (almost) weekly family email.  I asked her if I could share it, as it's been on my mind since I read it, and brings tears each time I read it.



57 comments:

  1. This brought tears to my eyes. Absolutely Beautiful post and letter.

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  2. Thanks for sharing. I am feeling softer than ever.

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  3. Love. Your moms email got me a bit teary-eyed as well. I had to chuckle at the two inches thing, that's a great idea. Sounds a lot better than the "K... Don't touch me. Seriously. Mommy needs like... five minutes. Five minutes of no touching. Sound good?" that I have been resorting to from time to time. Two inches sounds much better, more of a "I love having you around but..." vibe to the 'I have exceeded my touch bandwidth' dilemma.

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  4. So needed to read this today! So often I feel overwhelmed with this motherhood thing and whether my girls will grow into adults who desire to please Christ and not themselves.

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  5. This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing. I only have one child, but I have found that motherhood is both the hardest and most rewarding thing God has called me to. Thank you!

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  6. ok well i'm totally crying.....what a beautiful FROM THE HEART email. WOW! I've clicked on just a couple blogs this morning....how GREAT is the God we serve to bring me to 2 places to read just what i needed to hear. to soften my heart. i feel like i've done too much yelling over the last MANY days....far too much than i should. i get upset when my girls for over reacting to situations and yet that seems to be exactly what i'm doing. thanks so much for sharing your mom's email!! BEAUTIFUL!!!

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  7. Thank you for sharing this, it makes me remember that even when your children grow up and move away that we will still feel our roll as mother each day. And to cherish the times that they are near to us. Lots of tears reading this!

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  8. Ah, Katy ~ that is precious! I'm fairly confident your children will be just fine!!

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  9. I have only to say thank you.

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  10. What a wise momma you have! Thanks for sharing this. It'll be my challenge today (and everyday)!

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  11. What a beautiful and touching post. You and your mom carry great wisdom. Thank you for sharing.

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  12. just what a lot of us needed this morning. may i share it on my blog as well?

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  13. Thank you and your mom for sharing. I woke up with a "mommy hangover" and really needed this.

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  14. I agree with others--just what I needed to hear today. Thank you!

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  15. Just found out I am expecting my third two days ago and reading your blog gives me the motivation to do it and reminds me why we're here. Thanks for sharing.

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  16. Thank you for sharing. I am only a "part-time" mother for two girls who are not mine biologically. In the two years that I have known them they have changed my life in a very positive way. Thank you for reminding me.

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  17. I love your blog =) It makes me so happy to read your posts! This one was especially good =)

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  18. thank your mom for saying yes to you posting it - i'm sharing it around today to my mom, my sister and my mom friends. how lovely!

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  19. Lovely letter and you're not alone in your fears. I'm a single mom to 3 kids...22 yr old, 3 yr old and 2 yr old. I often worry and wonder if I'm doing a good job as a single parent and still worry about my 22 yr old! His father passed away when he was 11 yrs old and so I've made my best attempt to be both a mother and father to him. Toughest job! Unfortunately, I have to work and I try to juggle life as best as I can given the demands of a 3 and 2 yr old. I completely understand asking your girls for the 2" space...I swear the minute I sit down it never fails that either my daughter or son need something. Often I ask them not to say "mommy" for 1 minute while I recharge my batteries. You are doing an amazing job and can only imagine life with 5 girls and a lil one on the way!

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  20. As much your amazing sewing skills brought me to your blog world, it is posts like this one that keeps me around.

    I am expecting my fourth and final child in February, and I inwardly wonder if I can hack it... but then I realize that it's really not about my performance, but really allowing the best out of each of the kids, what God's destined them to be. My husband and I huddle together at night often, discussing what how we can be to cherish each child, to impart a sense of belonging that will naturally bring out of the joy to live and learn.

    I so love your family's heart. You keep preachin' it, my sister.

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  21. neilandnikki-sure! you are welcome to link to the post.

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  22. Your post was so dear to my heart. I only wish I could have all our girls and their children just two inches away more often. Time goes by so quickly, Enjoy Enjoy Enjoy - and I can tell you do by your posts. Thanks

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  23. Well said. Family is everything we are. This life would not be complete without them.

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  24. Oh Katy. Knowing you and your mom made this post even more beautiful and heart felt. Your mom is truly amazing and there is so much of her in all of you!

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  25. Just beautifully written; please thank your mom. With tears in my eyes, this is exactly the reminder I needed.

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  26. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful letter from your mother. It is so genuine - and resonates in me.

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  27. thank you for sharing. I love your Mom and your two inches comment. I'm in tears as I read this.

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  28. Well said! (both by you and your mother)

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  29. what great timing! thank you so much for that...really needed it. and yes i do have tears rolling down my cheeks too.
    the last couple of days have wanted to do so much with my 2 under 5, but nothing has got done. so will start trying again tomorrow.
    becky (coincidentally same name!!)
    bpbajona at maltanet dot net

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  30. It's posts like these that make me tune into your blog all the time, despite the fact that I'm no sewer. Just to see the beautiful faces of your little girls is wonderful. And, the note from your mother, so true in every way. Today I was thinking about the constant conflict that goes on in my brain about my own 5 kids. About how sometimes I feel I'm completely going to burst with all that is expected from me for them. But, at the same time, I love them so much, I love that there are many of them, and I can't help but feel that I never want it to end.

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  31. Your mama is a wise woman! Thanks for sharing!

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  32. That is so beautiful...and I lift I totally needed this week.

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  33. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I really needed to hear that today. My husband has been in and out of the hospital with kidney stones (which always seem to make their appearance in the middle of the night and leave him exhausted and in need of help for the following 2 days) and I also have a 2 year old son to look after. My nights are spent taking care of my husband and my days are spent taking care of my son. I am EXHAUSTED! We are military so we have no family close to us to help. Today was kind of my breaking point.
    But that letter was beautiful. What a wonderful reminder of Christ's love for us. Thank you again! My spirit is refreshed!

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  34. Tell your Mother that her email is all that stood between me and the brink today! Just joking, but wow, does it feel that way some days. After feeling like a huge failure today, over what will probably turn out to be small potatoes, I had a good cry after reading your words and her words. This is hard. So, so hard. I came up short on skills this morning. I feel so much less alone. Thank you. I will try again tomorrow.

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  35. this is so lovely! thanks for sharing. Being a mum is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
    It's amazing... and tiring... but my batteries charge up every time I look at my little girl!it's so worth it! even with all the worries that come with it!

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  36. Thank you so much to your mom for writing this, and to you, for choosing to share it.

    MY mom always says to me that motherhood is God's refining fire that He uses to shape and mold us to be more like Him. This letter brings me back to that and helps me find joy again in caring for my babies.

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  37. There is such a beautiful Spirit in your family. Thank you x

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  38. Thank you so much for sharing that!

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  39. TWO WISE WOMEN!(and they're both mine!)

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  40. Thank you for sharing such wise words! This is such a great reminder to embrace the joys of motherhood even MORE! I adore your family's dynamic... does your mother want to adopt another "child" ;)?

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  41. i teared up at the email, and now i'm tearing up at your photos! thank you for sharing your sentiments. i wish i could hear your deep thoughts every day. i think i'd be better for it.

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  42. You make me want more children.

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  43. Lovely to hear from your mom and say thank you to her for allowing us to glean from her wisdom. It was beautiful!

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  44. That was just beautiful. I want to be a mum like that.

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  45. I felt this way right after having my little girl. I love my boys, but this itty bitty girl makes feelings/worries come out of me that I didn't have with my little boys! Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

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  46. your mum letter is trully amazing. and it, of course, brought tears to my eyes.
    I won't complain again about not being a mother... but as seen from my point of view, she is so right... it seems like the best job on earth. I so whish I could be a mum like that ;-)

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  47. What a beautiful, life affirming post. Thank you for sharing.

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  48. Just what I needed today after a week of being on vacation and in closer quarters than we are used to. I forget sometimes how much they bring to my life and get too focused on how much they "take". Thank you and your Mom for the lovely heartfelt reminder.

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  49. What beautiful words! Sometimes I forget how simple my life could be if I didn't worry so much. How much I need to appreciate what is going on and what I have rather than wishing for more, or different.
    Thank You for sharing!

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  50. Thank you for posting that. I needed a reminder that my blessings are not burdens.

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  51. OK, yeah that just made me cry too. Your mom is really amazing. And so are you!!!

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  52. Thank you so much for sharing! That was beautiful and touching. I love your blog!

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  53. that is so sweet. thank you for sharing! with a one month old on my lap and the words, "give your baby sister some space" being said regularly around here, this hit home.

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  54. I feel like this was written just for me to read this morning. Thank you!

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  55. Thanks you, I needed that. God bless

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Be a lamb & tell me what's on your mind.