I'm not a huge talker. Some people like and/or need to talk things out even if it's just to sort things out. I usually don't which Ryan loves/hates. Perhaps that's why I don't sleep well, I tend to start my thinking sessions when I get in bed. And that's also usually when my great ideas come.
Well, last night was different. We were snuggled down for the night and Ryan and I began chatting...about everything.
We talked and talked and talked. It was wonderful.
Then he said, as we were discussing [and doing lots of laughing about] each of the girls, I don't feel like I really parent. I feel like it's just chaos all the time, and we're trying to just get through each day.
Yes. That's exactly how it is. There are very few conscientious parent-ing moments, and more like constant survival mode.
Which is why I've decided that I need to focus on just being a better me--for everyone's sake.