I love to hear other people's birthing stories. I must get that from my Aunt Lynn. Each one is so unique and powerful. Each is filled with strength and weakness. But, sometimes I want to shout to women to stop listening to the doctors and start listening to their own bodies. Strength and weakness, but somehow, the vast majority of OBGYNs take the strength from women, or rather convince them of and focus on their weakness. The pain. Yes, it really hurts, but in that pain is where the strength comes. Women have done this since the conception of the earth. I've done it so many ways. Prostiglandin gel induced/epidural, castor oil induced/in the car, pitocin induced/natural, pitocin induced/epidural, and finally, my water birth. The perfect birth. Women are strong. My body knew what to do and my midwife had faith in me. The rhythm was my own. Mentally, I had prepared for the moment when I would want external relief. I can do it. My mortal weakness will want relief from the pain. My inner strength, my mental strength, my god-given strength would carry me to the moment my child lay on my breast. Weakness and strength fight, but also balance. We must find the balance, because the weakness and strength of motherhood only begins at birth.
My mom used to say she was a patient person until she had kids. Now that's what I say. I've had this epiphany that, no doubt, is not new to everyone else. Motherhood is more about me than my children. It is a test of me. Yes, I'm here to nurture, teach, and guide these children so they become good, righteous women. But, God wants to know what I do with my strengths and weaknesses. He wants to watch me laugh instead of yell. He wants me to hug instead of punish. I am strong and want to force them to do what's right. But, I am weak and should just walk beside them, telling them what I have learned. Tell them how much I still don't know. I am so, so weak. That's when I need to turn my weakness over to my Savior and ask for His strength.