20 July 2009

8 years.

making beet ravioli for Sunday dinner

When I was 14, I was in a very serious car accident.  The doctors "gave" me a 50/50 chance.  The suburban rolled and landed on top of my pelvis, and I didn't know the serious matter of my situation until I looked up and saw a circle of people bowing their heads down at me.  They were made to disperse and kneeling by me, on the icy ground was my mother.  I held up my hands for her to see that they were okay.  I could still play the harp.  I could still do those things with my hands that brought me so much enjoyment.  My hands were fine.  Just one small cut on my thumb.  While waiting for an ambulance, I asked her if I would still be able to have kids. I expected her to know that vital piece of information, as though she had gone to medical school and could, by glancing at the situation, conclude the outcome.

The outcome was a long road.  Multiple breaks to my pelvis, a metal plate and screws fastened to keep everything in place, crushed nerves tended to by an acupuncturist, physical therapy in a giant box of water and a diligent mother always in search of something else to aid in my recovery.  I am not symmetrical, but I have born children. 5 daughters. And I have hands that now care for them.  I have changed diapers for 8 years now.  {really? has it been that long?}  Spoonfed, bathed, dressed, sewn little dresses, brushed hair, tied bows, played peek-a-boo, buckled, carried, patted, soothed, and held for 8 years.  I do{n't} look forward to the day when these won't be my normalcy.  It will be all too soon when my hands will be wringing and waiting for a daughter to walk through the door instead of doing and tending to her needs.  So, I change diaper after diaper with more contentment.  I linger just a bit longer before I lay her down for the night, intent on remembering every minute detail of our exchange.

14 comments:

  1. You are a miracle, in so many ways! And now you have five little miracles I get to watch grow up!

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  2. What a strong and wonderful family. Each challenged in different ways yet growing stronger through each challenge. Funny about lingering a little longer....I remember doing that and now look forward to doing it with each grandchild that comes to grandma's house to stay.
    Quick question to put out there for all the Knudsons, do you know any LDS photographers and florists in the Orlando, Fla area? Need one for December at Orlando Temple wedding for my VT companion. Let me know. Hugs, Tina (Ann's mom in law)

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  3. Thanks for the reminder to cherish the crazy moments with young ones. You are amazing!

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  4. I won't ever forget that accident...the day I found out is etched in my memory...but it has made you (and your family) what you (they) are today!! You capture it so well...I was intrigued to hear you write about it...I don't think I have ever heard anything about the accident from you. Wonderful post.

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  5. I've thought about that a lot--how you suffered that accident but recovered and had five delightful daughters! It's a blessing and so are you. I also know exactly what you mean about how busy our hands are as mothers and how critical it is to remember the daily details because they change so quickly. I'm going to be sad when people no longer quip, "You've got your hands full!"

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  6. I do{n't} look forward to the day when these won't be my normalcy.

    I can totally relate to that...in fact, this reminds me of a few months back, when I expressed a similar sentiment.

    Enjoy them while they're young, because although it feels like an eternity now, in but a moment they will be grown. I'm happy for you and your five!

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  7. Beautiful words and thoughts. Thank you for sharing Katy.

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  8. Oh Katy! Heavenly Father does have a plan and I love that you are so willing to share the delightful and blessed details of yours.

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  9. PS How did the beet ravioli turn out?

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  10. What an ordeal you suffered through, and recovered so completely - it seems to us outsiders. It is a miracle! You create miracles with everything you touch.

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  11. You are so very blessed. Thank you for your words...those 5 little Dills and you are miracles.

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  12. Despite the horrific accident and long recovery, you gave me so many fond memories during that time! You were such an inspiration! I would run down the hill from the bus stop and in to your house with the notes I had written you during school ready to play! Man I miss you! Loves! :)

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Be a lamb & tell me what's on your mind.