I had this whole post written in my head last night as I tried to fall asleep.
It was brilliant.
Then I woke up and all my precisely picked wording was gone.
They're floating in the great abyss, along with many of my marbles, I suppose. So, I will start again, because that is what one does, especially when one has children who have a tendency to help facilitate the practice of re-doing what was once done.
I've just finished reading The Elegance of the Hedgehog and have latched onto the idea wabi, which means "an understated form of beauty, a quality of refinement masked by rustic simplicity."
It seems that once a week I tend to re-evaluate some aspect of my life. Not so much conscientiously, but nudged by a thought of my own or of someone else. Usually it happens on Sunday when a discourse or verse moves me to make changes. Sometimes it happens mid-week, after a catalyst of a mundane nature helps me realize, this isn't working.
This week it was about minutia. Which is a very touchy subject indeed, for me. I usually thrive on the small details of life. Like rainbowtizing the books. Does it truly matter in the scheme of this life?
Probably not. But, does it matter to me? This one does. I believe it adds to the fullness of my life. My house is my workspace, my place of creativity, my office. If it doesn't inspire and bring joy, then it needs to change.
Particularly when I sew, I like the details. The little extras that are frequently not part of the initial plan, but come to me as I'm working. The details that make my heart race, just a little, because I find them exciting and flavorful.
But, then. Aren't there always the but, thens in my posts?
When we moved to Magnolia Manor we made the conscientious decision to get rid of the superfluous. Once we unpacked, we got rid of more. Now that we have the token 3 boxes left in our bedroom, like a blister that just won't go away, we have done more streamlining, and I feel there is even more to be done, and that it's never really complete, just like the laundry and the feeding of hungry mouths.
But it's not just the stuff I reference, although a clutter-free space can do more for inspiring the creative mind than most sources, it's what we choose to do with our time.
My kids like a game called Temple Run 2. I resisted even trying it because, well, I know me. But after weeks of reporting their scores and successes, I gave it a shot.
One of my less useful skills is that of a video-gamer. Growing up with a garage full of coin operated video games, I am good at the nimble finger movements required for high scoring. A most useless "skill" in the real world.
But, I found myself spending too much time, running toward a goal that didn't really exist. Waiting for the pasta water to boil, I'd take it out and play. Waiting for the iron to warm up, I'd take it out and play. So, when the thought flashed in my mind, I took out my phone and deleted it entirely. Remove the temptation. As insignificant as this example is, it helped open my eyes to other changes I could make.
Pearl was sitting next to me, in church, when I erased the game. I was glad she saw me. She looked at me like What have you done?! I told her I decided there was a plethora of other things I'd rather be doing with my time.
Because there are. Like these 6 faces. (Plus Ryan, of course.)
Even if it's getting down on the floor to laugh more.
One of my favorite things is how Drummer does his squeaky toy laugh, although it's more like a squeaky toy in need of repair, with a bit of a wheezing sound, when he's particularly amused, like when he dumps cold water on my feet in the shower and I squeal with shock.
Or spending an extra few minutes tucking in and snuggling with each child, learning what their thoughts are from the day, because sometimes there is so much demand for attention during the day from everyone that someone is bound to miss out.
Or even just spending a few minutes alone on the porch swing with my own thoughts. And maybe the mail ;).
I want to delete the superfluous minutia that is sucking my time, the only time I have.
I know there will be always be metaphorical apps that I struggle to delete from my life,
but I think as long as there a frequent re-evaluations, perpetual refinement, and intentional decisions about what I do with my time,
I will find more fulfillment and contentment.
I think I will achieve wabi,
that understated form of beauty, a quality of refinement masked by rustic simplicity."