29 June 2008

Perfection


I had visions of calling Ryan as he was in the midst of teaching a class, proclaiming my water broke and it was time.  He would announce to his class that his wife was in labor, run out, tripping over chairs, leaving them all bewildered. It's always been a no-contraction-calm-drive to the hospital, first thing in the morning (except Pearl, who was born in the car, but that truly was an exception of all sorts).  That's not how it happened.  As we went to bed Wednesday night, I commented to Ryan that other women tended to go into labor in the middle of the night, but that's usually when my body would stop any sort of "practicing".  Hope, one of my midwives, told me Tuesday she was confident my body would do this without help.  Just as her name, I believed her.

2 AM Thursday, I awoke to a familiar ache, though it was enough to be bothersome and deprive me of sleep.  I didn't want to wake up anyone unnecessarily, so I got up to walk around to make sure this aching was consistent.  I gently squeezed Ryan's foot and told him I was having contractions.  I timed them as he fell back asleep.  5 minutes apart.  Yes, I wanted to go to the birthing center.  I was going to have the water-birth I had dreamed of since giving birth the conventional way with daughter number one.

I awoke my parents, and while they were scrambling to get dressed, I laid some towels in the car and got in.  My mom came, Ryan followed, carrying the carseat, juice for me and other odds and ends.  The drive was quiet, but hurried.  We were there before Sharon, but at least the baby wasn't.  She checked me, still just a 3, but very effaced.  Her suggestion: walk the halls.  I had never been given this luxury.  Yes, it was a luxury.  I took off my noisy flip flops and began to walk.  Up and down.  A quiet cricket crossed my path.  He seemed to know my need for peace.  My only company.  No, I didn't want any other company at this point.  As I was pacing, barefoot and solo, joy filled my body.  My body did know what to do.  It knew when this baby was ready to join the world.  40 weeks, 41 weeks, 41 weeks and 4 days, it wasn't rushed by the measurements of time.  I was grateful for a supportive husband, midwives, and parents who allowed me to do this on my own.  I was surprised to be grateful this journey was taking place in the solemn hours of the morning, with no outside onlookers to invade.

4:30-Sharon checks me.  I'm a 5, but as she checks me, my water breaks.  I decide to keep walking until that first contraction without my water manifests itself.  I quickly return and tell her I'm ready to get in the water.  She says it will be 10 minutes before the tub is filled. 10 minutes suddenly seemed like a mountain of pain before me.  I waited until there were three inches of water and asked if I could just get in.  She turned down the temperature and helped me in. My mom peers in the room and I tell her I now need Ryan.  The glimpse she sees in her words: Then I see her slip in the back room, water running for the underwater birth, four woman, quietly getting ready for a most amazing experience. Each woman knows their task and just join in the dance like it all had been rehearsed for months. I love the way they NEVER leave her side. It is all about Katy, all about her strength and ability to have a baby without anything but her body to tell her what to do." Ryan came to my side and began to pour the warm water on this mound of life preparing to make the most glorious and painful entrance. 

3 contractions later, Ryan said he watched as this baby moved from the "pregnant position" to "down, really far down".  I announced that I had the urge to push.  Sharon asked me to wait for the next contraction.  Moments later, it came, and I began to scream and push.  Sharon pleaded with me to hold back a little so there wouldn't be tearing.  I held back as much as I could muster, but this baby was coming.  I continued to push and then she was here, on my breast. 4:56.  I held this new life.  Gratefully.  Reverently.  It, the birth, was perfect.  My body did everything perfectly in 3 simple hours. Nothing too soon and nothing too late.

I held this new body in my arms, not knowing who it was I held.  After some moments of reveling in what I had just experienced, I looked to discover another daughter had been given to us.  She was not late.  She was perfect.  She is perfect.

21 comments:

  1. Katy, I'm so glad she came the way you wanted her to come, perfectly! What a beautiful story you will be able to re-tell to her as she grows up. love you.

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  2. Awesome! As I read it, a flood of memories came back to me. What a beautiful birth story! Congratulations! Hope you are feeling well. Please let me know how I can help after your parents leave even of you just need a break for an hour or two.

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  3. Dear Katy,

    I got a little teary reading your birth story... 11 days after the expectation is just perfect, right? Enjoy this lovely time with your new one!

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  4. Katy! Thank you for sharing your experience. I've been checking faithfully the past few weeks for any news. Congratulations, you dear person.

    Take care,

    Katy Storey

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  5. Amazing! And so beautiful, Congradulations! I am so happy for you. Another child is such a blessing, boy or girl. Have fun with all the newness all over again.

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  6. Oh Katy, what a beautiful experience. Thank you for sharing. I can't wait to meet her. I love you.

    (I called the day after but Claudette said you were asleep, give me a call when you can)

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  7. congrats, she is so pretty! maybe i missed it, but what is her name? i am so excited for u guys. you told ur story so well!

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  8. thank you for sharing this with me. Cathy

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  9. I could hear those barefoot steps as we waited in the "family room". It was all perfect and so is she!

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  10. Congrats on another beautiful girl! Can't wait to hear her name. A water birth must have been so neat. I know my mom enjoyed having most of her children at home. What a blessing for you and your family.

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  11. Have been diligently monitoring your blog as well as those of your family members. I'm excited to compare stories with you. Isn't a water birth SO good? My midwives didn't say a word about Neva's gender either and waited to let me recover before I figured it out too, though I already knew. I see you being a midwife, by the way.

    I have a list of names for you, in case you and Ryan have a hard time deciding... which I know you will. Guess 'Slade' isn't going to work this time either. Can't wait for your announcement. Thank goodness for blogs!
    In the meantime, my very warmest congratulations along with lots and lots of kisses for your precious #5.

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  12. Katy,
    I have studies a lot about water births, but I haven't ever personally known anyone that had one. I am so happy for you that all went well and as planned and that you were able to have her in such an ideal circumstance. Congratulations!!! You amaze and inspire me.

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  13. PS. I think she looks like Olive

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  14. She is absolutely beautiful and I love this story of her birth.

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  15. oh Katy congratulations. Sounds like the experience was great. How beautiful.

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  16. Yes, it was amazingly perfect. You were so brave! You did it your way. Love you.

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  17. Dear Katy and Ryan

    Congratulation on you fifth girl. Before she was born I told Claudette that I dreamed you had another girl. I love looking at your blog and I enjoyed ready about the birth. Katy you have a real talen for writing and expressing your feelings. I am so glad that everything went well and she is perfect. I hope you are resting, resting, and resting. I know that granny is probably in heaven helping with the little one. She sends me pictures every so often and all of your children are adorable. I wish that we were all closer so that we could see each other more often.

    Love to all

    Kathryn & Merrill

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  18. i know i'm going back a while now... i just love learning about writers by going through their older posts. this is just beautiful. and a very belated congratulations! :)

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  19. beautiful! brings back so many memories of my own

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  20. i'm welling up. i remember that quiet knowing within while i was in labor. i had a home birth. 49 hours of continuous labor (was actually four days...); 2 hours of pushing...walks in the rain and padding around home. The most amazing and transforming time and worth every single second. i'm so happy for your experience. thank you for sharing.

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  21. I loved reading your story. I just recently had my 3rd baby, first homebirth and it was amazing. I'm so glad you got exactly what you wanted. Beautiful story.

    On a side note, I think my sister-in-law is in your ward (or was until it split), Sue Lee. She told me about your blog and I am now officially addicted. You have an amazing talent!

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