A Life of Wabi

I had this whole post written in my head last night as I tried to fall asleep.

 It was brilliant.

 Then I woke up and all my precisely picked wording was gone.

 They're floating in the great abyss, along with many of my marbles, I suppose. So, I will start again, because that is what one does, especially when one has children who have a tendency to help facilitate the practice of re-doing what was once done.

I've just finished reading The Elegance of the Hedgehog and have latched onto the idea wabi, which means "an understated form of beauty, a quality of refinement masked by rustic simplicity."

It seems that once a week I tend to re-evaluate some aspect of my life.  Not so much conscientiously, but nudged by a thought of my own or of someone else.  Usually it happens on Sunday when a discourse or verse moves me to make changes.  Sometimes it happens mid-week, after a catalyst of a mundane nature helps me realize, this isn't working.

This week it was about minutia.  Which is a very touchy subject indeed, for me.  I usually thrive on the small details of life.  Like rainbowtizing the books.  Does it truly matter in the scheme of this life?

 Probably not.  But, does it matter to me?  This one does.  I believe it adds to the fullness of my life.  My house is my workspace, my place of creativity, my office.  If it doesn't inspire and bring joy, then it needs to change.

Particularly when I sew, I like the details.  The little extras that are frequently not part of the initial plan, but come to me as I'm working.  The details that make my heart race, just a little, because I find them exciting and flavorful.

But, then.  Aren't there always the but, thens in my posts?

 When we moved to Magnolia Manor we made the conscientious decision to get rid of the superfluous. Once we unpacked, we got rid of more.  Now that we have the token 3 boxes left in our bedroom, like a blister that just won't go away, we have done more streamlining, and I feel there is even more to be done, and that it's never really complete, just like the laundry and the feeding of hungry mouths.

 But it's not just the stuff I reference, although a clutter-free space can do more for inspiring the  creative mind than most sources, it's what we choose to do with our time.

 My kids like a game called Temple Run 2.  I resisted even trying it because, well, I know me.  But after weeks of reporting their scores and successes, I gave it a shot.

 One of my less useful skills is that of a video-gamer.  Growing up with a garage full of coin operated video games, I am good at the nimble finger movements required for high scoring.  A most useless "skill" in the real world.

But, I found myself spending too much time, running toward a goal that didn't really exist.  Waiting for the pasta water to boil, I'd take it out and play.  Waiting for the iron to warm up, I'd take it out and play.  So, when the thought flashed in my mind, I took out my phone and deleted it entirely.  Remove the temptation. As insignificant as this example is, it helped open my eyes to other changes I could make.

Pearl was sitting next to me, in church, when I erased the game.  I was glad she saw me.  She looked at me like What have you done?!  I told her I decided there was a plethora of other things I'd rather be doing with my time.

 Because there are.  Like these 6 faces. (Plus Ryan, of course.)  

 Even if it's getting down on the floor to laugh more.

 One of my favorite things is how Drummer does his squeaky toy laugh, although it's more like a squeaky toy in need of repair, with a bit of a wheezing sound, when he's particularly amused, like when he dumps cold water on my feet in the shower and I squeal with shock.

Or spending an extra few minutes tucking in and snuggling with each child, learning what their thoughts are from the day, because sometimes there is so much demand for attention during the day from everyone that someone is bound to miss out.

 Or even just spending a few minutes alone on the porch swing with my own thoughts.  And maybe the mail ;).

 I want to delete the superfluous minutia that is sucking my time, the only time I have.

 I know there will be always be metaphorical apps that I struggle to delete from my life,

 but I think as long as there a frequent re-evaluations, perpetual refinement, and intentional decisions about what I do with my time,

 I will find more fulfillment and contentment.

 I think I will achieve wabi, 

 that understated form of beauty, a quality of refinement masked by rustic simplicity."

Pin Worthy

I'm hard on myself.  I think most mothers and women in general are.  Standing in line at the grocery store: my house doesn't look like that, my hair never falls just that way, my abs certainly don't even resemble that.

And now we have pinterest.  I can guarantee my nails are never ever pin worthy.  My hair probably isn't either.  Let's not even talk about abs.  My ankles might.  I do have nice ankles.

I also have some pretty boisterous, happy (not all the time, mind you!), fun-loving girls, one Adorable boy, and the love-of-my-life who don't really care about all that.  

They're happy with a quick bike ride for burgers, fries, and an ice cream.  Ice cream is supposed to be buy one get one free when it rains, but I couldn't convince the guy that the few raindrops evidenced on my camera were sufficient. 

So, we splurged.

Do not think for a moment that my life here is perfect, full of perfect sewing adventures, perfectly behaved children and nary a thread of contention.  Nor does it have to be, nor should it be.  

We would remain in a state of plateau-ness, which is awfully nice to be able to catch one's breath and munch on carefully packed snacks, but then one grows weary of the same view and it is time to move on and up.

But, nobody is perfect.  Perhaps we will imagine those perfectly manicured-ombre-colored nails never doing something of worth, like climbing to the next peak with a view even more spectacular than the last.  

I will say that I took everyone with more than 6 teeth to the dentist last week without one single cavity to report.  As our sweet dentist commented, that's over 100 teeth you have to get clean each night, that's a lot of teeth!

So.  I'm mentally pinning that.

Cherry on Top

I found out last night that Divine's band teacher travels 60 miles each way to get to school.  My first thought was Crazy!  Why would he do that? He was previously retired before teaching at their school, but came out of retirement to continue doing what he loves.

He said sometimes he'll gaze out the window at other drivers on the way to work and say, my job is better than yours.....I have the best job in the world.....I'll bet you don't love what you do like I do.

Did you notice Claudette's necklace matches the artwork?

It made me smile to think how he revels in sharing his passion.  And then I thought, wellwaddayaknow! I get to do what I love and share it, too.  I will confess it's not all fundge sundaes and freshly popped popcorn.  There are moments when I lose it, get frustrated, annoyed, and angry.  Probably too often.  But.  I do what I love.  Ryan and I get to help raise these souls we've brought into the world, watch them discover their passions and become marvelous individuals.  The cherry, which is a mighty big one, is that I get to sew and create while I do it.  How incredibly superb is that? 

Thank you for being part of the audience to my chaotic, messy, beautiful, loud, glorious, delicious, nonsensical show I call life.

In case you wondered, Divine performed particularly euphoniously and loved the perfumed peonies, and Drummer's favorite part was...the drums, of course.

* * * * *

Still Lifes of a not so Still Life

too big treasures

birth finally announced

minis for two minis

It's always the times when I think I have things under control that they go spinning out of control.

homework

Okay, so I'm being dramatic, because there are a million things more awful than the following story.  Yesterday, upon meeting Ryan for some birthday shopping and lunch, Clover threw up in the car.  Over and over.  While I was driving.  Helpless?  Understatement.  

orange rays

I threw her a wet wipe, which is like telling someone to make a gourmet meal and handing them a box of hamburger helper.

pacify

We finally reached our destination, I hopped out, opened the door and she had just a bit more that needed to come out.  One word: pink.  We tried to demystify the cause of the hue without success.  She even went over it with Azure after school.

word wall

Ryan arrived on the scene when I had the whole package of wipes piled up in the seat, Drummer crying, and Clover going on about how her birthday boots were dirty now.

blankie replacement

He found a sweater and skirt in the back seat for Clover to change into, I found a swim diaper, and laughed that it was the only time I've been grateful for the lack of vigilance in keeping the car cleaned out.  

pvb (post vomit bath)

We left the two sliding doors open in the parking lot while we went for lunch (with no further incidents).  Want to steal our vomit wreaking minivan?  I dare you.  Nobody took me up on it.

favorite part of my days: Drummer planting those gums on my face

I removed the entire seat from the car (yay minivans!) when we got home and scrubbed the life out of it.  It's still outside, because you know and I know it will never be the same.